Life is fragile and swift

        The last several weeks have been quite busy.  We had a "sweet sixteen" party for my wonderful daughter a little over a week ago.  Where has the time gone?  As I was going through pictures of her to display for the party it has really hit me - how quickly the time has gone from infancy to now nearing adulthood.  This past weekend we attended my husband's aunt's funeral (she died very suddenly).  There was a slideshow of pictures from her life.  I imagine her mom was sitting there thinking the same thing - where does the time go?  It seemed like yesterday.....

         It is easy to let fear well up inside when something tragic happens suddenly.  All those what if's.  Those "what if's" can paralyze if we let them.  As a person who has always struggled with worry, I can easily find myself worrying about what might could happen.  Over the last several years the Lord has really worked with me in this area of my life - not to say I am free from fear - but He has taught me to trust in Him on a deeper level and recognize the deep LOVE He has for me.  If I focus on that - there really is no room for fear!  

        I want to relish each and every moment the Lord has for me and to be open to what He wants me to do!  And NO MATTER what the future holds HE is always with me! As part of me wants to hold onto my daughter who is growing into a Godly young woman - the Lord is asking me to trust Him with her!  I am excited to watch as the Lord uses her - because truly my mom's heart if for my daughter to be a warrior for the Lord! Nothing could make me more full of joy than my children serving the Lord with all their heart!  

        I also know that I know that no matter what happens in my life - celebrating or grieving - it all works together for good according to the Lords plan. Recently I watched 2 movies and read a book that all had that common theme.  Movies (based on true stories) - "Letters to God" and "Soul Surfer" - how life's tragedies often are the very things that God is able to use to bring about something very beautiful and powerful.  The book by Mary Beth Chapman, "Choosing to See" is an amazing book along that same theme.  

       I thank God for each moment I am given...may I make the most of them.  

      

      

So many memories so many blessings

Well I have not posted in quite a while.  So much has happened over the last two months.  So many memories - birthday, beach vacation, Mother's Day, wedding of precious couple, 20th wedding anniversary, daughter's first mission trip, keeping my nephews, playing in the creek, water balloon fights, unplanned "dates" with my husband, time with friends and all of the blessings in between!  The Lord has blessed me beyond measure and I find myself in awe of what He has done and Who He is!  Thank you Lord for the amazing journey you have me on - thank you Lord for walking with me through both the valleys and the mountaintops!

Give it up

The Lord is teaching me how to truly give Him my burdens - He has recently revealed to me just how tight I was trying to hold on to them AND control them (I didn't think I was!).  I have asked forgiveness for not TRUSTING Him with my entire life.  God is so kind to show us areas we are holding on to (when we think we are not!), really putting them before God.  I recently heard a preacher preach on surrendering everything at the cross - sins, hopes, dreams, spouse, children, etc.  OUR ENTIRE LIFE!  My heart is truly to serve God in a mighty way!  I am thankful for these hard lessons to refine us and prosper us!  Several lessons God has been teaching me currently are:   He LOVES even me more than I could ever imagine!!! (Eph. 3:14-21)  He wants me to be BOLD (Eph. 6:18-20)  He wants me to surrender my imagined control (Psalm 30).  He wants me to TRUST and WAIT (that's a tough one!) (Psalm 27)  He wants me to SEEK Him in everything (Psalm 34).   And as always, the Lord works in ways we cannot even comprehend! 

Overwhelmed Heart: Being thankful

Overwhelmed Heart: Being thankful: " &n..."

Figuring Life Out - One Thousand Gifts

Being thankful

                                                           God paints beautiful pictures

I recently was given a wonderful book by a dear friend (Melanie!) called "1000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  The book has had a profound impact on me.  The author was challenged to write down 1000 things she is thankful for and during this process her life was altered in a mighty way.  A few key points that really resonated with me were:  (not exact wording)  Anxiety and stress cannot co-exist with thankfulness.  Giving thanks precedes the miracle (Jesus gave thanks for the loaves and fish before they were multiplied).  Being thankful for the moment "slows down time" (I tend to be always looking ahead at what needs to be done, what might happen etc!)  Anyway, I am in the process of writing down what I am thankful for each day (from the large to the small)  (I believe I am on #602).  It has been a wonderful exercise and truly has deepened my walk with the Lord!  One example in the book:  instead of complaining about the laundry to be thankful for the people in your life who wear those clothes!        www.aholyexperience.com

A few paragraphs from my journey to trust

After surgery

Excruciating circumstances often bring about the most growth in us.  As a newly baptized mother of a beautiful 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son, my husband and I received devastating news.  I'll never forget that moment when we were told our son has a heart abnormality and will require open-heart surgery in the future (Can you say F-E-A-R).  The future, it turns out was one year later.  As a new Christian this was a huge lesson in trust for me.  I had to hand our sweet little boy over to have MAJOR surgery.  I could feel God in a way I had never felt before - He was so tangible.  God's comfort and love enveloped me - I was actually very calm during surgery - peace that surpasses understanding.  For me, a true worrier, to be at peace was only through HIM!  As I look back, I realize what a huge lesson I learned - the lesson of true faith and trust.  Although I would never wish this upon my son, I praise God for what He has demonstrated through this situation.

My dear son's life has been an exercise for me in learning to trust.  The (suppose to be one time) surgery left him with a damaged valve which must be closely monitored.  He has been scheduled for 2 more subsequent surgeries, but our AWESOME GOD intervened in both cases and he did not have them.  My son's activity level does not fit with what the doctor sees in the cardiac testing!  This child with a heart condition has ridden a 47 mile bike ride (not many 12 year olds can say that!) God has worked miracle after miracle in his life!

The last time he was scheduled for surgery, we actually got to the point of being admitted to the hospital, where our son was preparing to have surgery.   The anxiety leading up to this point touched every part of my life.  The decision to put him through surgery was an agonizing one.  The doctor's felt it was time.  I could not stop thinking about what my son was about to endure and how I would handle the situation.  Satan continually threw the "what if's" at me.  What if he didn't undergo surgery, would something bad happen?  Or if he did have surgery: what if something went wrong?  What if he was getting sick and we didn't know it?  What if the surgeon found more wrong?  Oh, this was a difficult time for me.  Would I ever have peace?

We were in the hospital, he was hooked up to the heart rate monitor, hospital gown on and beginning pre-op.  After a quick examination and speaking with us, the surgical team met to discuss our son's surgery.  The head surgeon and his team came back into the room to tell us what they felt was the best plan of action.  (His heart condition is not an easy situation to assess - there are several possibilities depending on what is found once they are in).  I will never forget the moment when the surgeon looked at us and said they wanted to tell us the best plan of action at this point is for our son to go HOME!  Jubilant is not strong enough a word for how we felt!  (Our son was about to receive an IV - God even relieved him of ANY procedure!)

We serve an awesome God who can do ANYTHING!  We knew the Lord worked through our surgeon that day - I felt the Lord's presence in that room!  I am so thankful for the power of God and for the surgeon who was an instrument for a miracle!  One of the nurses said being sent home at that point was extremely rare!!  This was a defining moment for me -finally after 6 years my heart KNOWS the Lord is in control of my son's heart problem (of course He was all along!)!                                                                                                                                                                                 

March 16,2011 - Getting started

Sheltering Wings

Well, this is the first day of my blog!  I have never done this before so you will have to be patient with me!  I am striving to be more of a "WARRIOR" than a "WORRIER" as I take this journey with the Lord!  Worrying comes very naturally to me; even as a little girl I remember believing I could "magically" control the outcome if I mull over whatever it may be.  I struggle with needless fretting to this day (age 42) I am proud to be a follower of Jesus Christ.  My heart is to serve Him in ALL I do and with all my heart.  Our God in heaven, out of His amazing love, sent His only Son to die for our transgressions (John 3:16).  This seems so incomprehensible!  He has made my life complete and He has carried me through many valleys.  Oh, how I can name the miracles He has done in my life even as a young adult when I was not following Him!  But, amazingly and to my dismay, I still find myself being consumed by fear and worry.  Worry is really FEAR and fear is not of God.  Satan knows my Achilles heel.  Sometimes I dream of what it would be like not to worry.. Imagine the serenity of Heaven.....The Lord has brought me a long way in the last 10 or 12 years - but I am definitely a work in progress!  For me faith and trust have been a process.  The Lord is so good to wait patiently - I picture Him waiting quietly with His hand outstretched - waiting for me to grab it!  He is always there!  "For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy....I will trust in the shelter of your wings."  (Psalm 61:3)  Love the picture of being tucked safe under HIS wings!