A few paragraphs from my journey to trust

After surgery

Excruciating circumstances often bring about the most growth in us.  As a newly baptized mother of a beautiful 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son, my husband and I received devastating news.  I'll never forget that moment when we were told our son has a heart abnormality and will require open-heart surgery in the future (Can you say F-E-A-R).  The future, it turns out was one year later.  As a new Christian this was a huge lesson in trust for me.  I had to hand our sweet little boy over to have MAJOR surgery.  I could feel God in a way I had never felt before - He was so tangible.  God's comfort and love enveloped me - I was actually very calm during surgery - peace that surpasses understanding.  For me, a true worrier, to be at peace was only through HIM!  As I look back, I realize what a huge lesson I learned - the lesson of true faith and trust.  Although I would never wish this upon my son, I praise God for what He has demonstrated through this situation.

My dear son's life has been an exercise for me in learning to trust.  The (suppose to be one time) surgery left him with a damaged valve which must be closely monitored.  He has been scheduled for 2 more subsequent surgeries, but our AWESOME GOD intervened in both cases and he did not have them.  My son's activity level does not fit with what the doctor sees in the cardiac testing!  This child with a heart condition has ridden a 47 mile bike ride (not many 12 year olds can say that!) God has worked miracle after miracle in his life!

The last time he was scheduled for surgery, we actually got to the point of being admitted to the hospital, where our son was preparing to have surgery.   The anxiety leading up to this point touched every part of my life.  The decision to put him through surgery was an agonizing one.  The doctor's felt it was time.  I could not stop thinking about what my son was about to endure and how I would handle the situation.  Satan continually threw the "what if's" at me.  What if he didn't undergo surgery, would something bad happen?  Or if he did have surgery: what if something went wrong?  What if he was getting sick and we didn't know it?  What if the surgeon found more wrong?  Oh, this was a difficult time for me.  Would I ever have peace?

We were in the hospital, he was hooked up to the heart rate monitor, hospital gown on and beginning pre-op.  After a quick examination and speaking with us, the surgical team met to discuss our son's surgery.  The head surgeon and his team came back into the room to tell us what they felt was the best plan of action.  (His heart condition is not an easy situation to assess - there are several possibilities depending on what is found once they are in).  I will never forget the moment when the surgeon looked at us and said they wanted to tell us the best plan of action at this point is for our son to go HOME!  Jubilant is not strong enough a word for how we felt!  (Our son was about to receive an IV - God even relieved him of ANY procedure!)

We serve an awesome God who can do ANYTHING!  We knew the Lord worked through our surgeon that day - I felt the Lord's presence in that room!  I am so thankful for the power of God and for the surgeon who was an instrument for a miracle!  One of the nurses said being sent home at that point was extremely rare!!  This was a defining moment for me -finally after 6 years my heart KNOWS the Lord is in control of my son's heart problem (of course He was all along!)!